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June 02, 2003

Non-response response

I write to my Senators and Representative quite frequently. I figure since they're supposed to be working for me and on my behalf (not exclusively, I realize, but the concept's there), then they need to hear what it is I want from or expect of them.

I generally get the usual nice, semi-generic, form response that tells me in polite terms that either they agree with what I have to say or that they don't, but that they're glad (as always) to hear from me and to keep in touch. I can then rest assured that whichever memeber of their staff actually read my letter marked down a little tick-mark in the appropriate column so that my Senators and Representative will be made aware of my feelings as part of their regular summary of the mail.

Sometimes, though, the responses I get are so incredibly generic that they don't manage to communicate a thing to me about what these guys actually think. Probably the most egrarious examples of this are the letters I got back from my Republican Senators in response to my comments about Senator Rick Santorum and his statements about regulating sexual behaviours between consenting adults. The point I made in my letter focused less on his specific comments about homosexuals and more on the idea that there is no right to privacy and that states should be able to regulate sexual activity to protect families and basic "moral values". I figure it must have taken quite a while for someone to figure out how to write a response that would cover all of the various comments people would have to make about Senator Santorum, and still provide absolutely no information about where the Senators themselves stand on the issue, while being as inoffensive as possible about it.

That said, I present - for your amusement - the Great Neutered Letters, courtesy of Senator Pat Roberts (R-KS) and Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS):

Roberts: Thank you for writing to share your thoughts about recent comments by Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA). I appreciate hearing from you.

The issue Senator Santorum commented on is one about which many individuals feel strongly. This is reflected in the fact that the Supreme Court is set to determine whether to uphold or overturn Texas law prohibiting consensual sex between individuals of the same sex. I have received comments from many Kansans, both in support and opposition to Senator Santorum's remarks. I am hopeful that the Supreme Court will rule on this issue soon.

I share your concern that basic moral values make up the foundation of our great nation and will continue working hard at every opportunity to see that Congress and the federal government assists -- not hinders -- our work toward that goal. Rest assured, I will keep your concerns in mind as Congress considers legislation affecing our nation's moral fabric.

Again, thank s for getting in touch with me. Please keep me updated on yoru views affectin both Kansas and the rest of the nation.

With ever best wish,
Sincerely,
Pat Roberts


Brownback: Thank you for contacting my office regarding recent statements by Senator Rick Santorum. I genuinely appreciate hearing the views of my fellow Kansans.

I believe in human rights. I believe,like Jefferson, that we are all "endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights." These rights we possess by virtue of our humanity; our government recognizes and protects them because we are citizens. Homosexuals, of course, retail all the rights, privileges and immunities of citizenship including the freedoms of speech and religion, protection from unreasonable searches and seizures and the taking of their lives, liberty or property without due process of law. I have spoken with Senator Santorum, and will keep your thoughts in mind should this matter arise again.

Again, thank you for expressing your concerns. Please do not hesitate to contact my office again in the future, and in the meantime, I encourage you to visit my website at http://www.senate.gov/~brownback for additional information on other issues on which I am working.

Sincerely,
Sam Brownback
United States Senator

I suppose I should be glad to know that Senator Brownback believes in human rights. I was a bit worried there, you know. I also love how his list of rights "retained" by homosexuals doesn't even come close to addressing the issue of whether consenting adults - of any sexual persuasion - have a fundamental right to privacy, and thus a basic right to do to each other in the privacy of their own homes whatever they want and agree to.

I'm also grateful that Senator Roberts was able to help educate me about the Supreme Court. I wasn't aware that if the Supreme Court is considering a case, it would be indicative of a lot of people having strong opinions about the matter. I thought it meant that there was a complicated legal issue involved that required the highest court in the land to determine how that issue should be handled in accordance with the Constitution. Silly me, huh? (Yes, yes, I do know that when the Supreme Court is considering a matter, more often than not a lot of people will have strong feelings about it - but the idea of saying the Supreme Court considering an issue is reflective of many people having strong opinions on it is, well, just too funny, really.)

These letters remind me of a scene from "All the President's Men", where Ben Bradlee is complaining that all these people the Washington Post has published stories about are issuing "non-denial denials" - statements meant to sound like they're denying the story without ever actually saying that theyre denying the story. These letters are "non-response responses" - intended to make it sound like the Senators are responding to my letter without actually saying anything. (Well, except that Senator Brownback believes in human rights. That's a big risk he's taking there, you know.)

Posted by thorswitch at June 2, 2003 03:48 PM

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Comments

I hear you. I have some pretty amzing non-responses myself. I like the editorial pages in the local newspaper myself. Being a former editor (o.k. high school paper I'm able to write the kinds of pieces that are likely to get published...)I feel they touch more people who, in turn, write letters themselves hopefully.

regards - rich

P.S. Do you read your email?

Posted by: rich at June 2, 2003 04:10 PM

I wrote a letter to Dianne Feinstein asking that a special prosecutor be appointed to investigate whether Bush misused U.S. intelligence agencies for private gain in promoting his wars and I got a canned letter telling me her position on Iraq.

I smell a bot.

Posted by: Joel at June 3, 2003 03:00 AM